Message Board

[Tammy]

A Letter to my Pets
>>
>> Dear Dogs and Cats,
>>
>> The dishes with the paw print are yours and
>> contain your food. The other dishes are mine and
>> contain my food. Please note, placing a paw
>> print in the middle of my plate and my food does
>> not stake a claim for it becoming your food and
>> your dish, nor do I find that aesthetically
>> pleasing in the slightest.
>>
>> The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is
>> not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not
>> the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I
>> fall faster than you can run.
>>
>> I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized
>> bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I
>> will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure
>> your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up
>> in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary
>> to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched
>> out to the fullest extent possible. I also know
>> that sticking tails straight out and having
>> tongues hanging out the other end to maximize
>> space is nothing but sarcasm.
>>
>> For the last time, there is not a secret exit
>> from the bathroom. If, by some miracle I beat
>> you there and manage to get the door shut, it is
>> not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn
>> the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try
>> to pull the door open. I must exit through the
>> same door I entered. Also, I have been using the
>> bathroom for years; canine or feline attendance
>> is not mandatory.
>>
>>
>> The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the
>> other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this
>> enough!
>>
>>
>> To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the
>> following message on our front door:
>>
>> Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to
>> Complain About Our Pets:
>>
>> 1. They live here. You don't.
>> 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes,
>> stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it
>> "fur"niture.)
>> 3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most
>> people.
>> 4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an
>> adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks
>> on all fours, and doesn't speak clearly. ! Dogs
>> and cats are better than kids . they eat less,
>> don't ask for money all the time, are easier to
>> train, usually come when called, never drive your
>> car, don't hang out with drug-using friends,
>> don't smoke or drink, don't worry about having to
>> buy the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes,
>> and don't need a gazillion dollars for college -
>> and, if they get pregnant, you can sell the
>> children.
>>
>>
>>
>
>
>

[lawrence_189]

hahahahaha!!!!!!
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For the sake of doing whatever I feel like...

[butchcomics]

Good post
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If Simon and Garfunkel don't like coffee, I'll be wondering where their taste buds went wrong.--quote from my comic strip's main character, Butch.

[dogdda8]

I love the letter to the pets! Kinda fits around my house!

dogdda8
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Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely, in a well preserved body; but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "...Holy Cow...What a ride!!!!"